I blew myself up in 2 seconds

It was a brisk, beautiful Saturday morning, March 23, 2008, about 10:30 am, when I blew myself up. It certainly was not planned. I had burned leaves and other flammable items probably 20 or 30 times before. It gave me great pleasure to rake up the leaves, pick up loose pine branches and sticks that had fallen to the ground and drop them in the now rusted and burnt barrel that I bought for $10 at a farm down the road. I'd toss in the occasional cigarette butt to ignite the whole thing.

10:31:17 am - I notice the flame traveling in a line straight up to the nozzle of the plastic, 5 gallon gas can I am holding. I begin to pull the gas tank up and away from the burn-barrel.

10:31:17 am - I look at the gas can and see that the flame follows it and goes in the nozzle. I begin to say the word "Oh" (as in "Oh Shit!").

10:31:18 am - I hear a loud "pop" and see a ring of fire emanate from the gas can down and over me.

10:31:19 am - I feel a hot blast of heat searing through my arms, face and stomach.

10:31:20 am - I see flames on my sweatshirt, hands and pants. My voice is no longer mine. It belongs to some primitive part of my genes turning the word "Oh" into a hideous groan that ends on a strange high note.

10:31:20 am - I think to myself, "I'm on fire." And drop the can.

10:31:21 am - I initiate trying to pat out the flames

10:31:21 am - while turning away from the barrel

10:31:21 am - and one third gallop, one third stumble, one third fall due north.

10:31:22 am - I consider whether to stop, drop and roll or pull flaming sweatshirt off up and over my head.

10:31:22 am - Decide to pull sweatshirt off.

10:31:23 am - Initiate process of pulling sweatshirt off and second scream bubbles up from some place deep inside through my throat and out. The sound of this scream frightens me.

10:31:23 am - I run into the side of the porch about 10 feet from the barrel and bounce of going due east. Third scream emanates from within me.

10:31:24 am - Sweatshirt is up and over my head.

10:31:24 am - I throw sweatshirt to the ground and see that my pants are on fire.

10:31:25 am - I stop, drop and roll. No more flames.

10:31:26 am - I lie on my side. I hold my left arm up and see that the skin going from my wrist to my hand is twisted and curved... melted really.

10:31:27 am - I thank God I am alive.

10:31:28 am - I wonder if my penis is ok?

10:31:29 am - I use my right hand to pull the pants away from my waist.

10:31:31 am - I see that I am ok and thank God again. Then I begin to wonder about my face.

10:31:35 am - I yell to my father to call 911.

10:51 am - Paramedics arrive.