I Blew Myself Up in 2 seconds- First Response

As I lay on the ground dazzled by the fact that I had just blown myself up in 2 seconds, I could only moan. I had not only been on fire but had been in an explosion which left my mind boggled, eyes rolling around and all...even a little tweedy bird chirping. I also had the taste of gasoline-heat-ash in my throat.

Here I will not go into what my father was doing and how he was acting while calling 911 and then my mother and then my internet-girlfriend whom I never met and, as it turned out, became something of a stalker. Those stories are for another time.

Let me tell you that for the first 3 minutes I felt very little pain. Here are my thoughts:

'My stomach looks OK, doesn't it? A bit white...too white...maybe just a short ride to the hospital, a few bandages and some ice cream and I'll be fixed right up. Boy, I hope this doesn't take long.'

With every passing minute, however, the pain is clarified. It comes in 10 second waves, expanding and contracting like a heartbeat or labor. I feel this primarily on my stomach, chest and arm. I look up at the melted flesh on my wrist.

'I wonder if I can put that skin back and smooth it out instead of leaving it all twisted like that? Oh, shit! Is this the hand I strum the guitar with or the hand with the fingers that push down on the strings? Left hand, so definitely the wrist that needs to bend over the neck of the guitar. Shit!'

The State police arrive and, having no idea what to do, start asking me insurance questions while inspecting the barrel and what was left of the gas-can. My moans get louder. The only thing that brings me any comfort is moaning. Now I know why the word "Ohm" is sacred in the Hindu religion.

"Ohhhhhh"....'that feels good'...."Ohhhhhh"...'that feels ok'...."Ohhhhhhh"....'It fucking hurts'....."Ohhhhhhhh"...'where the fuck is 911?'

I look down at my stomach

'Hmmm...my nipples are not burned but my chest is. How can that be? Hmmm. Ohhhhhhh....that hurts.'

Pins and needles attack every part of my body.

'Shouldn't I throw-up? Should I pass out? Wait. If you pass out do you die? "Ohhhhhhh"....'where the fuck are they.'