I Blew Myself Up In 2 Seconds: Shrinkage

While I was outside on the ground the air was cool, probably 50 degrees, and the burns only hurt at about a 9 on a scale of 10. Once I was in the ambulance the pain level went up to about 12 on a scale of 10.

The ambulance begins to pull out of my driveway. The actions of the EMT's- two men and one woman- are giving me a sensory overload. One of them is cutting my pants off (' do I have clean underwear on?'), one is on the phone asking the local hospital if they should take me to Albany or have me airlifted to Westchester, the third is trying to figure out which pain medication to give me. Amid the action my entire physical being throbs with pins and needles and I continue a meditative groaning.

For just a split second I make a feeble attempt to find some humor in all of this. In fact, I try to think of some wise-ass comment to make to the EMT's. Then I realize that at this moment there really is nothing funny, and my mind returns twice as clear to the pain. While my pants and long-underwear are cut off I can only muse about "shrinkage."

The EMT who was on the phone hangs up and directs the ambulance driver to take us to the Freehold Airfield. Finally I feel lucky. We couldn't be farther out in the boonies and this little village actually has an airfield! But then again if they are airlifting me that means I must be in pretty bad shape.

The one and only thing that brings me comfort in this 10-minute ride to the Freehold airfield- is this chain of events:

The female EMT says, "Your doing good," and in spite of my current state something in me responds to her voice. I manage to look at her and I recognize that no matter what pain or what situation a person might be in, the soothing power of a woman is remarkable. And the fact that I can have this thought at this moment is remarkable.

I immediately feel guilty and try to apologize to the EMT's. I'm not sure what for. I probably just want more sympathy. Typical male.